Peace

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Getting through finals week! Honestly it's been amazing stressful, I've felt completely lost and more than unprepared. Angry at myself for not being ready, disappointed that I can't bring myself to study as hard as I feel I should. But throughout it all, I've also felt strangely (or perhaps not so strangely) at peace. Even when I'm marking my practice tests with red, strewing eraser shreds across my desk... I've had this feeling of calm within me. Even when I'm about to cry and I'm stressed beyond belief, that deep part of me knows that everything will be okay.

And I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that it is because of Him. Even during the exams, when I'm absolutely mentally exhausted, fully realize the extent to which I have somehow failed to learn the material... I feel Him with me. I'm able to look around the room, look at the clock ticking down to the half-hour-left mark, sit there with multiple problems not even started, and just marvel. Marvel at life, at the magnitude of intelligence in the room, at being able to be at Princeton and have the privilege of failing a test here. It's absolutely amazing.

I have yet to get through two finals, and get my grades back, which may be atrocious. And I may (probably will) take it pretty badly. But it's okay.

I am not defined by my grades. My worth is more than a letter or a number.