PDF

I've discovered how little PDF-ing a class means to me right now. Honestly, the only difference is that I feel much more at ease. But I'm actually unable to just not care or care minimally. People keep telling me that I don't need to study. That I'm essentially done, and even I tell myself that. But I'm not, not really.

It's always been a bit of a problem, if we want to call it that. I try pretty hard on a lot of things that don't necessarily matter, or that wouldn't make a difference. It makes it almost impossible for me to skip "less important" classes to study for a "more important" one. It's hard for me to accept that I just won't care about a class that doesn't really matter for me in terms of my major or career, to allocate all of the time I would have otherwise spent on said class on one which is more relevant.

I mean, a C is an A in terms of PDF, but I just can't bring myself to just get a C, or to go in expecting to get the minimum. Actually, I can't go in expecting to do any less than my best. It just seems disrespectful and... wrong in a way. To just not worry about a class because it won't factor in your GPA, or because you're probably going to get an acceptable score even if you don't study. And no matter what I say about being able to get a D and pass, I'm not going to get a D. And it changes things in the sense that I won't prioritize this class over my other classes, and I am fairly confident in my ability to pass the class, but I don't go in wanting to pass. I go in wanting to do well.

It won't "make a difference" if I get a C in terms of my GPA, or how others perceive me, but it makes a difference to me. Should I not try my hardest in everything I do?