Uh. Sleeping didn't work out too well.

At least I won't miss the sunrise, in the words of Ellen Liang. =] I've always wanted to watch the sunrise with someone... I prefer sunsets, but watching the sunrise just seems more special. Probably because fewer people would be willing to get up at like 6am than stay up until 6pm. =P

Han Yi Lie!

Oh dear, this scene. He tries to kiss her, she protests, he's like "screw it" and does it anyways. It's so cute, but at the same time, would completely suck if you didn't like the guy... Wonder if it ever happens in real life with people that are actually compatible though. Hm. [Or else it's called rape.]

Edit: He really is persistent. And commanding. Wow. Though at the same time, "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." [Yes for Hamlet references!]

Edit: Ouch. This drama seriously brought back the huge heartaches... Usually it's a little pang, but this HURTS. Jeez.

Christmas Presents!

Finally time to start using them - currently charging my new Panasonic ZS10 camera! =] Much better resolution and zoom than my old Canon, though low-light performance isn't ranked very high. In any case, I'm happy.

And getting around to those 27 little pieces of joy. Along with more pieces of joy that I didn't count. xD

These Daydreams of Mine

Thinking about things that I would do if I had the guts, the opportunity, the patience, or the will. -sighs- Maybe it's all for the better that I never end up doing this stuff. I'd probably either make a fool of myself, or hurt someone. Oh well, no big loss if I don't.

Merry Christmas! =]

Things to Do

So many things I could be doing... Homework, finishing driver's ed, starting on birthday presents, playing piano... Eh, I have a week. For now, it's sleep and dramas. =P

The Best of Winter Break

~ Cuddling up in a heated throw, or on a heated rug, watching random movies
~ Sleeping just for the hell of it
~ An excuse to walk around wrapped in a blanket
~ Snow! (Though we don't get any...)
~ Christmas cookies and presents =]
~ Hanging out with friends, doing absolutely nothing half the time
~ Being able to ignore homework for a week, because we get one more
~ Having relatives over
~ Singing Christmas carols
~ Cooking random crap and eating it
~ Drinking hot chocolate in a puffy jacket

Yay!

Bowling, Wii, movie. =] Today was pretty damn awesome. Beat Ross at bowling twice, and got beaten by Brandon twice. Made them play Just Dance 3 (which was hilarious). Killed Brandon a few times in Brawl. Ross won Mario Party in what might have been the best upset I've ever seen (bonus stars for the win?). Then Scott Pilgrim. Fun movie. xP Anyways, today was a much needed actual break during break. ;D Now time to sleep!

These Little Things

I don't know. It feels like... not break. Little things you know. But I keep stressing, and I haven't even started my homework (and I have a lot for lit...) which makes me stress even more. I want replies to my e-mails. I don't know what I'm doing! Agh! Someone come save meee!

Break is Such a Waste

It's an absolutely amazing waste, but I just feel so unproductive all the time... I wish I could hang out with friends more or something. Maybe I should start my homework. Blah. I don't know. I just feel so useless right now, which hasn't been helped by everything happening lately. -sighs- We'll see, I guess...

I can't express how happy it makes me when you text me back right away. It's like a little spot of joy in my life. =]

Physics Carols!

Highlight of my day = writing physics versions of Christmas carols for Courtney. I started out doing "Sleigh Ride," then I ended up making versions of "Jingle Bells," "Deck the Halls," "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," and "Jingle Bell Rock" too. I liked Jingle Bells and Jingle Bell Rock the most. xD If Courtney gets the sheet back, I might post them up. I actually sort of remember some of them though, so...

Physics Tests (Jingle Bells)

Dashing in the door
Of Ms. Sater's room,
To our desks once more,
Going to our doom.
Questions on tests stun,
Making students cry,
Stay inside, out of surf and sun,
Wave your life goodbye!

Oh, physics tests, physics tests,
Physics all the way.
Oh what fun it is to solve
Long problems the whole day, hey!
Physics tests, physics tests,
Physics all the way.
Oh what fun it is to solve
Long problems the whole day, hey!

Physics is Coming to Town

You better watch out
You better sit tight
You better make sure
Your answers are right

Phy-sics is coming to town.

It's talking about waves
And fluid mechanics
Gonna find out
Who is a real physicist

Phy-sics is coming to town.

It haunts you when you're sleeping
It's a pain when you're awake
It knows if you are wrong or right,
So be right for your grade's sake!

You better watch out
You better sit tight
You better make sure
Your answers are right

Phy-sics is coming to town.
Phy-sics is coming to town.

Physics Adventure (Sleigh Ride)

Just hear those tuning forks jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a physics adventure with you.

Outside the gravity's cracking
And magnetism's acting up too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a physics adventure with you.

Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, there's snow
It's a Newtonian show
We're solving problems about a current flow
Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, it's a trick
Learning about optics,
Now we're moving on to a questi-on
About a little boy dropping a brick.

What's the Point?

Sometimes I wonder what the point is of life. Doesn't everyone? I mean, we live, we learn, we love, we laugh, we die. But you know what? There's no point in overthinking it. Just take it as it is. Have a bit of fun. Act crazy every once in a while. Don't hold grudges because it won't matter in the end. Spend your time on Earth making other people's lives a little bit brighter. Make a difference. Don't get lost in the details. Just live. =]

Puzzle Piecing!

Mock Trial was pretty chill - we went over some comments from the scrimmage, and Mr. Barr/Gunjan/Karishma talked to some of the returning members about the varsity team.

Econ was like normal, we finished up notes, did some activities, and an FRQ. Talked to Mr. DeVries about college and stuff with Lisa/Tony, and made them watch the beginning of "Why I Chose Yale." xD

I fell asleep in gov. We were reviewing some stuff about elections, and I had my head down, lifting it every so often. Then I put it down and the next time I raised my head, we had gone from primaries to the House picking the president in case of a tie. Woops.

Psych was rather boring - took some IQ/EQ tests. Apparently I have an IQ of 141 and an EQ of 45. I don't know if I trust these...

Ross, Simion, and I waited after school for the back parking lot to clear up, so while they looked at WWII books, I folded some origami. Then I got bored and decided to try to work on a 1500 piece puzzle, which Ross apparently thought was more interesting than tanks. So yeah, we did that for a good half hour. =P

It's Official!

I'm going to college! If nowhere else, I got into Caltech! =] Now just to wait for MIT next week... And hopefully this is the beginning of a slew of acceptance letters!

On another note, almost done with college apps! One more short answer for Rice, and some editing for a Penn program!

*****

The Mock Trial scrimmage today was pretty awesome. I think I did pretty well - screwed up epically the first trial though. It made me sad - I lost one of our key pieces of evidence... But overall, pretty good first run. =] Need to cut my opening a bit more though. Oh well, we'll get there.

*****

Made cookies and brownies while watching Pokemon with Clarie! It was pretty awesome. xD Must get all of my presents tomorrow and prepare for Christmas! I should probably be doing more college essays and homework/studying for tests, but whatever. Presents are more fun. =P

Damn You Feet

My little size 5 feet make it really difficult for me to find shoes. I mean, it's easy enough to get a pair of sneakers or whatever, but when you need shoes for a specific occasion (Mock Trial!), it's a pain. Adult shoes usually only go down to 5 1/2, if that, and children's shoes never have the right style (as in, usually no heels, or if they have heels, no sophisticated ones). So yep. Yay for wearing size 6 shoes tomorrow that will definitely flip off my feet unless I consciously keep them on! xD Ah well, scrimmage time, I'll fix it before actual competitions.

Anyways, yay for the scrimmage tomorrow! First actual performance as an attorney - I'm super psyched but also worried. I suck at objections... Blech. Oh well. We can do this! Go Cal! ;D

College List #4

Submitted
MIT
Caltech
UCs
USC
Duke
Stanford
Columbia

Almost done
Harvard
Princeton
Yale
Rice
UChicago

Working on...
UPenn

College List #3

Submitted
MIT
Caltech
UCs
USC

Pretty much done
Stanford
Columbia

Almost done
Harvard
Yale
Princeton

Working on...
UChicago
Duke
Rice

To do
UPenn

That's Why I Chose Yale

I didn't know Sam Tsui went to Yale. Danggg.

College List #2

Submitted
MIT
Caltech
UCs
USC

Pretty much done
Stanford
Columbia

Working on...
Harvard
Princeton
Yale
UChicago

To do
UPenn
Rice
Duke

Fire!

My opening is too long! =[ And Mrs. Woodward wants me to add stuff about AG and Count 2. And I need to talk slower. How am I ever going to trim down enough?! =[

I thought I did better on my lit test (especially since we got the damn play to look at), but whatever, still got an A so I'm not complaining. =]

APES test wasn't SUPER easy, but Mr. Coburn cracks me up with his answers... What direction should windows on a house in the N. hemisphere face to maximize lighting? North (so I can be closer to Santa and his elves). xD Guacamole, lighting farts in college dorm rooms, and horsepower (if you pick this I will laugh at you) were all among some notable answers... xD

Calc was interesting... Lots of turning off the AC, opening/closing doors and windows... Condos in the neighborhood burned down, and since our windows face that direction, the whole calc class was like, "Do you smell something burning?" Mrs. Dillman thought we were messing with her at first, but then she smelled it too. It was pretty interesting, though it gave me a headache (as though the one from doing clac weren't bad enough =P).

Pokemon Profile Picture Month! (Eeveelutions ♥)

College List #1

Submitted
MIT
Caltech
UCs
USC

Working on...
Harvard
Princeton
Yale
Stanford
Columbia

To Do
UChicago
UPenn
Rice
Duke

Well Crap

I apparently have a lot more to do this week than I thought. Must write it all down so I don't forget.

Thursday - Study for lit/APES, do lit irony thing, finish up (hopefully) Columbia.

Friday - Chinese test, psych notes

Cute, yet miserably sad...

Thanks Guys =]

My friends can always cheer me up, even when they don't know I'm down. I love you guys forever. Thanks for always being there, even without knowing it.

As for you, I'll get over it. I WAS over it until you decided to bring it up again for your own good. Sure, you listed me understanding as a reason for the conversation, but when you're pretty much just going to tell me what you've already said, with more venom, and emphasize that you don't want to talk to you again, forgive me if I don't see my understanding as a main motive. I hope you got your closure and comfort. You don't hate me, you don't dislike me, yet you can't stand being around me, seeing me makes you feel sick, and I make you miserable. Wow. I feel sorry for you when you do find someone you hate. But you know what? Hate me. Do it. I'll make myself not care. You're the one who can't get over it, who can't accept what happened, and who doesn't want to listen to another perspective and a different explanation. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt, if I said I didn't cry, if I said I didn't care. But I'll make myself not care. I'll make myself forget about you, move on, and live a good life regardless. I'll make myself go back to that place of tolerance and coexistence, even if you can't. If it was all a lie, it shouldn't be that hard for you to look at me. If you can't resolve your own conflicted mind, I sure as hell don't want to even TRY to help you anymore after that. Did it never occur to you that maybe I only talked to you to see how you were doing? Oh, of course not, because my voice makes you physically sick. I guess this whole thing sounded a bit bitter, and I'm sorry for that. I won't hold a grudge - it's not my thing. I'll stop talking to you since that's what you want. Well, I hope you're able to get over this. Live a good life. I mean that, truly.

Caught Up on Break

Wow, I've been super busy, I haven't even posted! Anyways, break's been awesome.

Thursday was pretty chill. I finished my APES lab during the day and just lounged around for the rest. My sister made yummy food for dinner! Stuffed portobello mushrooms, glazed squash, buttered garbanzo and string beans, garlic mashed potatoes with bacon bits, crab cakes, and of course the traditional turkey from Costco. xD

Black Friday shopping with the fam and Clarie! Separately, but whatever. Went to Walmart and Target at like midnight-ish to look for some deals. Line at Walmart was WAY too long, so we didn't bother, but we got some pajamas and random crap at Target. xD Got home around 2:30am.
Headed out again at 5:00am (after an hour of sleep) to go shopping with Clarie. Went to a TON of places - Big Lots, Marshall's, DSW, Half Price Books, Michael's, Kohl's, Old Navy, dpshoes, the mall. Crazy. It was super fun though! Didn't get too much, but whatever. Got home at like 3 - it was ridiculous.
Finished watching National Treasure while we ate Thanksgiving leftovers and pretty much just completely died on the couch. =P

Went to the Great Mall for MORE shopping on Saturday. Ugh. Got dragged places. Found a shirt at H&M that was pretty cute, so got that. And a pretzel - yum. Otherwise, spent like 2 hours in a Coach store getting weird looks because I was totally wearing sweats. =P
Brandon canceled on me because he didn't finish his homework, shame shame. So Ross and I just hung out and watched a movie at his house. Butterfly Effect. I jumped a few times and he told me to relax. xD It was actually a really good movie. He tried to get Dark Knight to play after, but it wouldn't, so we watched some random YouTube videos, gave up on a game of Minesweeper, and yeah. It was pretty awesome. =]
Jess took us to Forbe's Mill for dinner to commemorate her getting a job/paycheck. That place is pretty fancy - ambient lighting and fancy waiters and everything. Also felt out of place in my sweats. -shrugs- Their steak is absolutely delicious though. Yum.

Anyways, I don't have much to do today, considering I finished my homework (I actually felt lost after having it done, because I usually procrastinate like crazy), and have no idea how to do college essays. I SHOULD be doing college essays... Oh well. I'll probably work on them a bit later. Plus I need to play piano again. We're going to Petsmart later for cat adoptions, since Dusky ran away... We'll see.

College Essays

Can actually be pretty fun when your topics are as random as mine are. You have the standard essays on Colorguard and COSMOS, then a semi-standard one on optimism, then this motley assortment of ones on handshakes, being short, and pillow decorating. Aw yeah.

Edit - I lied. After 5.5 hours, college essays suck no matter how awesome your topics are.

Insanely Fast Break

It's halfway over already... o.o At least I have pigging out tomorrow, Black Friday shopping, and possibly hanging out with Fro and Ross Saturday. =] Plus I'm mostly done with homework - just that annoying APES lab left. Ah well. It's college essays that I'm screwed for... -sighs-

I love lazing around. Summer makes me want to be outside and with friends, winter makes me want to dress in all things fuzzy and curl up in a blanket and sleep. Which is basically what I've been doing. xD

New little thing for Thanksgiving - I'm texting people. You'll see.

Oh the Freedom

It's crazy. I can tell my mom I'm going out for a walk five minutes before I do, and she'll just be like, "Okay, when are you getting back?" I keep expecting her to tell me no every time I ask her if I can do anything, but she never does. I guess there are perks to growing up (or older, rather).

Anyways, had an awesome morning/early afternoon with Melanie and Clarie! Winter-themed photoshoot (Clarie's idea), Yogurtland+Target after, Taco Bell and Walgreen's! I got King (lion Beanie Boo) and we saw Mr. Waddles's Christmas-themed cousin! =] It was pretty awesome.

So yeah, freedom's pretty awesome. Lot more responsibility too, but it's a pretty worthwhile tradeoff. xD

It's really pretty at the top of our hill. =]

It's the end of the street for me. CHS Guard, carry on the legacy! =]

It's been an absolutely amazing four years as a part of the CHS Colorguard. I've made friends to last a lifetime and had an experience I'll forever cherish. I was so uncertain when I joined as a freshman, and now, I can't even picture what high school would have been like if I hadn't joined. It's so hard to imagine life without guard. And not even just guard, but the other people I've worked with, the instructors, the shows.

I laugh to think about how young and ignorant I was as a freshman, but even then, I knew I wanted to keep with colorguard. I joined because I wasn't continuing with band, and for the possibility of PE credits. The PE credit possibility was slashed and my parents tried to discourage me from continuing with guard because of the time commitment, but I knew there was something special there. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't continued with this program. Through the sweat, the pain, the tears and the frustration, this has been beyond words. I can still remember when I couldn't spin a flag correctly, and this season, I helped others learn. I remember being so apprehensive and nervous about having to learn to spin rifle as a sophomore, and now, I feel most in touch with rifle. Just looking back through the years, I wouldn't change anything. Not the weeks of band camp, not being yelled at by instructors, not even messing up during shows. They aren't the grandest of things, but they're what made me strive to be better. I don't regret having switched to parade - despite my preference for field and how much I miss it, I won't give up the experience I've had for something that may have been.

It's been an amazing personal journey from an uncertain freshman struggling to keep up with everyone else, to a confident senior leader and captain eager to help others have a passion for guard. It's been stunning. I've had such a great experience. It's not about the scores or the trophies... It's about the bonds I've formed - the sisters I've made in guard and the friends in band.

I can't imagine having shared this journey with a better group of people. Mr. Johnson, Jhay, Kyle, Kelly, Jessie, Elaine, Chloe, and Edric - thank you all so much for the encouragement and instruction throughout these years. Abbie - you are without a doubt the best drum major ever. Ashlee, Melanie, Ellen, Laura, and Toria - I couldn't have asked for better captains or co-captains. Courtney, Vaishu, Ross, Peter, and Giulio - it's been an amazing freshman to senior journey with you at my side. The people I've worked with, cried with, learned with, performed with, and won awards with... You guys are unlike any other and I'll remember every single one of you.

Mask of Zorro, Thrill Ride, Purple Pageant, and Arromanches. Two years of field show and two of parade. I hold back tears every time I look through pictures, every time I watch videos of shows, even when I just see my rifle gloves lying on the couch. There's this chasm in my heart every time I think about my journey with the CHS Marching Band and Colorguard being over. Thanks for making this last season one to remember.

Underclassmen - stick with marching band/guard. It's completely worth the work. No matter how hard this past season may have seemed, stick with it. It's an experience that can't be understood by anyone who hasn't gone through it, and one you'll never forget. And once you're a senior, you can look back and be absolutely amazed at how far you've come.

When people refer to high school being the best part of your life, they must be referring to experiences like these. Forever and always, CHS You Know!

Last Competition - Fairfield 11/19/11

1st place Class C Auxiliary
2nd place Class C Band

*****
Last competition ever... I actually had to keep myself from crying - I'm just going to miss this so much... I really want to thank the band and guard for making my last season one to remember. I've met a ton of awesome people throughout this experience and wish you guys the best of luck in the future! Colorguard's been such a big part of my high school life - I almost feel a hole in my heart already just by knowing that it's done. It's just been such a great time these four years spinning with the team, learning and working together, growing and getting better... I really love this - I can't even describe it in words. And despite how hard practices were and how frustrating some of the work was at times, I'll miss every aspect of guard. I'll miss the hot days of band camp, the sweat after a good run of PT, the bruises and the cuts... It's really amazing to see how far the seniors have come from being confused freshman to capable and confident leaders. I'm the only senior who has done guard for all four years, but I don't feel any less a part of this group. We've grown up and fostered this passion for four years, and that's a bond that will forever tie us together.

Seniors got those boutonnieres like every year, and having one was special yet saddening. Didn't perform with it on though, just because I was afraid the dancework would shake it off. It was just a crazy feeling knowing that this was my last show ever... It was a great performance from band and guard, and you guys will always be #1 in my heart!


*****
Hung out with Toria, Peter, Ross, Giulio, Tony, and John during lunch. Watched a few more of the parade bands - Toria and I got Jhay to wave back at us, after which I made a "YES!" motion with my hand and made him laugh. It was awesome. xD Walked over the Carl's Jr, got some food, and sat and playing Publish or Perish/Bang! for like 3 hours. It was pretty awesome, and for the most part, just a great way to celebrate the culmination of four years of hard work in this program. I spent the whole day without crying and now I feel myself tearing up - it's just finally sinking in that it's the end. Even if I do find the time to do Winterguard, or guard in the future, it'll never be the same...

Abbie, Toria, and I made up awesome salutes for awards. Just saying. Original, Wand, Dolphin, Mushroom, Lawnmower... Oh, I love you guys. =]

Clarie, Ross, Giulio, and I went over to Laura's after we got back and ate cake and watched movies. It was an awesome way to end the day.

*****
This is a day I'll forever remember. I'll always cherish the memories I've formed as a member of the CHS Colorguard. The feelings right now can't be explained in words; the whole journey has been amazing and just a great experience.



CHS YOU KNOW!

Seniors ♥

I love these people; I'll miss all of you so much when we head off to college! Courtney's facepalm is also epic - "Why do I talk to these people...?"

Dusky, wherever you are, I hope you're happy and safe and loved... I miss you!

First Interview!

I think it went well. It wasn't awkward or anything, and my interviewer was super nice. =] We had a pretty nice talk, in my opinion. Got to talk about Colorguard, Mock Trial, DECA, etc. so that was cool. He's the CEO of his own company right now, which is impressive. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes and hope for the best!



*****
Calc FRQ wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I definitely screwed up one of the problems. I had no freaking idea how to do it; it was depressing because I definitely should have figured it out. Why does insight for calc always come AFTER the test? Bleurgh. Oh well.

Edit: I'm a retard and the FRQ was horrible. x.x

Calculus BC makes me want to shoot myself

The Cold Shoulder

It's super frustrating when someone is mad at you and won't tell you why. They just ignore you. How am I supposed to make it better if I have no clue what I did wrong? They won't even talk to you, so you might as well not even try... Just sit and hope that they realize completely ignoring someone probably isn't going to make anything better unless they're trying to get rid of them...

Napa Competition 11/12/11

3rd place Auxiliary Class 2A
2nd place Band Class 2A
3rd place Drum Major Military Overall

No Shame #2

A bit more light-hearted this time. =]

I'm not going to lie - I still have a little spot in my heart where I wish I could be an actress. It just seems like so much fun!

No Shame

I've always said I've learned to not care what others think, and only live according to my own expectations. It's not entirely true, but it's close enough to be the truth. But sadly, this means that every time I fail, I've disappointed myself. I've let myself down and made myself think I'm worthless.

You'd never really know, but I definitely went through a period of depression. I'm not really even sure why - I think I was just overwhelmed and feeling like I wasn't good enough. I tried to kill myself by taking pills, and when I woke up the next morning, it almost made me sad that I couldn't even accomplish that. Now, I'm glad it didn't work for whatever reasons, but at the time, it was just another add-on to the list, and the saddest one of all. This girl is such a failure, she can't even kill herself. I also went through a period of cutting, which was sad not only because it's cutting, but because I'm scared shitless of blades. I never really drew blood - I only cut deep enough for a red line to show, but the cuts never really bled. And I can be glad for that in the same way I am for my failed suicide - you can't see the scars unless you know what you're looking for, and you really try. I punched walls because the pain was, in a way, satisfying. I've had to wash my walls because there were faint but noticeable red smears right above my headboard. And similarly, I can be glad because my knuckles always healed with no scarring.

I'm fine now, but every time I fail a test or just don't live up to my expectations, some remnant of those feelings rush back. It's just a sense of feeling like I'm helpless and hopeless. That's the problem with only having your expectations matter. Regardless of what people say, regardless of whether they think you're amazing and brilliant and talented and smart, it barely ever changes your own view of yourself. When I'm feeling like a failure and someone compliments me, I feel grateful for their kindness, but I don't feel like any less of a failure. I could stand in a room, feeling completely worthless, then get complimented by all of the people I know, and I'd still feel worthless afterward. I won't lie, I'll feel better, but it's not going to change to a point at which I actually feel good. And I guess it just goes to show that when people tell me I have low self-esteem for thinking I'm not really good at anything, I think to myself, "I'm just being realistic."

I actually feel worse when others have high expectations of me. When people use "But you're Erica!" as an excuse, I don't get upset because they expect that much of me, I get upset because I don't. I never feel like I can do better than everyone on anything. The general public maybe, because I will acknowledge that I learn faster than some, but a great majority? No way. I can think about things logically and know that I have one of the highest, if not the highest, weighted GPA for my class, but I can't think of myself as being in the top 1%.

And I have thought about dying in recent times, but I've never acted on it. And I won't, because I know that despite what I think about myself, there must be a reason others keep telling me the same things. At least, that's what I tell myself, but sometimes when I'm really down, I do wonder... I guess I can be glad that even when I'm really upset, I'm logical. I can be bawling my eyes out or absolutely furious, but at the same time, I'll be asking myself, "Does this really matter? Why are you doing this?" So I knew I was depressed when I was. I know when I'm being unreasonable. The hard part isn't acknowledging it; it's acting based on what the logical, and not emotional, part of me knows. But I think that's what saves me. My sadness is serious, but short. I tend to not dwell on things. They come up repeatedly, but I recover quickly. I've hidden my true feelings from my friends, and sometimes at school, but not as often as one might think. I don't get hung up from something that happened a few days ago, having to hide it for a week, simply because I can rebound quickly enough to not have to.

I guess what I'm trying to really say is that despite my happy-go-lucky and outgoing personality, I'm actually not always that carefree.

Celebrate the Holidays a Bit Early

I don't even really drink coffee, but I haven't had a Peppermint Mocha (Frappuccino) in a long time... And all of these sound pretty delish. xD

I Sincerely Hope This Was a Joke...

I was looking through some of my old documents on my laptop, since I need to wipe the memory and restore the whole thing (stupid virus), and I came across THIS from Addison's class (figures). I'm PRETTY sure it was a joke, but considering it was from that class, I don't really know...

Dating Game - Christien
What three words would you use to describe me?
I love you.

How much do you love me?
I love you... a lot.

If you could wish for one thing, what would you wish for?
I would wish for you to love me.

If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you talk about?
You. We would talk about my love for you.

Could you write a short poem about me?
You are very beautiful.
When I don't see you, I miss you.
I wish I could see you all the time.
I love you... a lot.

The Winter Chill Makes Me Lazy

More so than I already am, which is impressive. I really just want to curl up on the couch with warm tea or hot chocolate, a good book, my phone, and my kitty. Read, sleep, lounge around, and do absolutely nothing. -yawns-

*****
Econ was funny - Eric and I got super bored in class so I attempted to help him draw a hand making an "OK" sign for his anime girl. I failed completely, so we ended up tracing our hands making the sign, and he proceeded to use mine as a reference. =P The funny thing is, while I was turned around tracing my hand, Mr. DeVries was like, "Erica, what are you doing?" I tell him I'm tracing my hand, and he just goes, "Oh. Okay."

Gov was semi-interesting. We got to laugh at how ridiculous some of the presidential candidates' stances on like, national security and stuff were. Cain, I believe, totally said something along the lines of, "Let each community decide whether they support the establishment of mosques in their society." It was like, "Wtf?" But supremely funny...

I also completely didn't study for psych. Ross apparently lost his psych book so I felt sorry for him and lent him mine --> me not having a psych book to read. xD I just had Courtney and semi-Ross/Simion quiz me. The test seemed ridiculously easy though...
We watch Bourne Identity afterward, and I totally called a line before it was said - I've never watched the movie before. So Bourne was like, "How could I forget you?" And I whispered jokingly to Courtney and Robyn, "You're the only person I know!" (Background for those of you as deprived as I am, the dude has retrograde amnesia.) Then Bourne says it in the movie and I completely flip out. It was pretty awesome actually... xD

*****
This was definitely one of the hardest practices I had. I mean, I did fine, but I just felt so TIRED the whole time... No energy at all... -sniffles- Ah well...

Electric Blankets are Heaven ♥

On a semi-related note, I totally chilled in bed for pretty much all of today. Other than getting food and some reading material, I legitimately did not get out of bed until 7pm. Then I crammed APES, gov notes, and econ. xD I'm glad I did most of my homework yesterday... I'll study for psych tomorrow in tutorial. No regrets. =P

Mini Milkshakes

Cute, though I'd rather just decorate a big version.
I'd have to drink like 5 of these mini ones... =P

Crazy...

I didn't know high school guys actually like, bought $200 necklaces for their girlfriends or got tattoos of the girl's name on their arm... I don't even know what to say right now. I'm stuck between pure disbelief and "What the hell are you, retarded?"

*****
On another note, I am rather sick of these stupid little status posts about broken hearts and guys that are jerks. You're in high school. A broken heart is possible, I get it, but having it broken and mended like 15 times in a week is NOT even close. Guys can be jerks. So can girls. Sometimes guys are only jerks because girls are. Trust me, I know. Get over it. -end rant-

Lodi Comp 11/5/11

Rough day today, definitely. The morning was fine, Ross was a bit late picking me up, but we weren't late getting there and everyone was all set to roll. It was FREEZING though, no joke. I couldn't feel my hands... We got to the school and changed in the locker room - warmth ftw! And the bathrooms were nicer in the lockers than the actual bathrooms, from what I heard.

The warmup was rough. All of our hands were freezing. Laura, of all people, dropped a toss and forgot work a few times. The actual comp was a bit rough around the edges too, but not bad overall. It was one of those days where everything seemed... not real. Like, it wasn't good, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't there. It probably had something to do with it being an add-in comp. Oh well.

We still did pretty well though - band got first in division, Abbie was third overall, and guard was 4th overall. We're getting better! Two more comps!

*****
Upside - I finished my UC app today! Yay! Now time to write like 15 more essays for all the privates... -sighs- College apps are difficult...

Heart-Shaped Dolphin Bubble Rings ♥

Click here for more awesome (and cute!) animal pictures =]

Oh Life...

Mock Trial was chill as always. I worked on my cross. Yay.

Econ was busy. The powerpoint was super long today, it made me sad. Oh well. Missed two on my econ test, but got 100% on the homework! xD

Gov was pretty awesome. Ms. Klein put tiny bonuses on the bottoms of the pages and she was like, "Make sure you answer everything on the test. Just... make sure you do it." People STILL missed them though... Dan and I are complete bosses at Jenga too. We haven't won a game per se, but we can totally pull out blocks and stack them super fast. Our tower tends to lean when we build it though...

Psych was pretty boring. Memory review then off to the library for some research. -shrugs-

Guard sectional = basics + workout. My abs are still sort of sore, but it was super fun. xD

*****

I'm super nervous for college apps... I have so many essays I need to write and perfect in the next two months... Just thinking about them makes me want to cry... I guess I'll have to take it one school at a time and hope I finish everything...

*****

Best lit study question (courtesy of me) - Who was Lancelot's son, and who was the mother of his son, and who was the father of the mother of his son?

Awesome Ants

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Anti-Homecoming 10/29/11

Oh wow, it was such a fail. But an awesome fail. xD

Ross was giving us a ride there, so Clarie came over and we talked for a bit while I tried to find a coat to wear. Then I found out Clarie's friend wasn't coming so, oh well, sucks for him. =P Then we get in Ross's car and start driving to Walnut Creek to find out none of us knows how to get there, at which point the "Oh my gosh"s of the day start for Ross. So I call Brandon and ask him to look up directions for us.

We get there, drive around looking for parking, and head off to buy out tickets. So Ross sees some people coming out and just goes in, and we follow him. But all the while, I'm like, those doors didn't have handles on the outside... And yes, we totally just inadvertantly snuck into a movie theater. xD We still went out and bought tickets though. Then we went off to Barnes&Noble and read some books, listened to some music, etc.

Went back to the movie theater, bought some drinks. The cashier dude rang us up wrong because he thought our iced mochas were frapps. I don't blame him, but it was funny. xD

In Time was pretty good - I'd recommend it. I definitely like the idea of time as currency. It would seriously suck, but it's a pretty intriguing concept.

Then we walked around for like, and hour and a half doing absolutely nothing. It was a downtown area, which is basically all shopping and restaurants, and none of us really like shopping or were hungry. So after awhile, we decided to drive back to Danville and do something there, which ended up being bowling. 98 points! Better than that 19 I got over the summer with six frames of gutter balls... xD

Then we dropped by In-N-Out since Ross seemed hungry, but of course wouldn't admit it, and got some food before we went back to my house.

Watch part of Castle in the Sky, but Ross and Clarie both had to leave at like midnight. I felt sort of bad for keeping them so long, especially since Ross's mom phoned at like 11:45 asking where he was and stuff... =\ But it was definitely fun. =]

Highlight of the day? We were sitting watching the movie at my house, and I hear water glugging. I look at Ross since he's the one with the water bottle, and he's completely spaced out, just POURING it on himself. It was so amazingly epic. xD

Homecoming 10/28/11

The morning parades were freaking awesome. The little kids are so cute! Plus we got to go on the swings and stuff at Twin Creeks. =]

Got Chipotle for lunch, yum! Plus a DQ cone. Ross and Peter were talking about cloning me, feeding the clones candy, then putting them in human hamster wheels to power America. -Texas has a blackout- "Oh woops, one of the Ericas must have fainted..."

Homecoming parade was fun too, except my boots super scraped up the backs of my feet... Ah well. -yawns-


*****
The homecoming game was tough. People forgot headbands, shoes, tights... We had a few flags missing so we were short some for a while, which was stressful since we had the exact amount needed. We were still having trouble with work too... Then we had a some drama - I was accused of putting down and talking trash about the guard, which I would never do. They took a phrase out of context which definitely sounded bad, but it wasn't what I meant at all...

The actual show went pretty well, especially considering we only had two days of practice, but half the guard ran off the field at the end and we were supposed to stay to form a "corridor" for the senior royalty to go through. Ah well, no harm done.

Then we lost our homecoming game... It was a good fight though. We totally could have won - it was literally down to the last second, and the ball was passed to a guy in the end zone, and he had it in his fingers, and fumbled... I felt SO bad for him...

In any case, it was fun. I need to find a dress for tomorrow now...

Halloween/Homecoming Parades Tomorrow!

Guard all day tomorrow! Super excited! This is undoubtedly one of my favorite days of the year, and tomorrow's my last one... It's so chill, I get to hang with friends and have an awesome time. Plus it's the one day the band dances with the guard, and it's, if nothing else, hilarious. And we get to skip school, which is always nice.

I also posted my first (or three, rather) Youtube videos today. They're super crappy quality, but the guard needed videos for the Homecoming routine, since the one we took during practice got deleted or something, so I convinced my mom to let me spin inside (no tosses though). But yeah, I feel accomplished. xD

So tomorrow is going to be absolutely awesome. Then I get to cram college apps and homework (like that critical essay...) over the (three-day!) weekend...

First Critical Essay Profile

Successfully completed! Time: 1:46am.

I actually read my whole book and didn't use Sparknotes/Cliffnotes/Shmoop for anything except to check characters and rephrase some agendas. So proud of myself! Still completely screwed for the essay though...

In any case, Dusky fell asleep, so I'm going to bed. No update tonight beyond yay for finishing, way too tired for that. Night!

Calc Work Problems

Leaking buckets in wells, troughs shaped like cylinders and hemispheres... The world of physics is rather impractical at times. It's like, "You'll be able to apply this in real life later! But for now, we're going to make you solve scenarios that would never actually occur." Ah well. I finished my assignment and have no idea what I just did...

365 Challenge - Sort of Failed?

After COSMOS, I completely forgot I was doing this until I saw Clarie's post about it... Well, I still pretty much made a post a day, I just didn't follow the titles. I'm sort of too lazy to continue it now, so deal with it. xD

Finishing Off Foothill

According to Courtney, it's the only competition we've gone to all four years, so I'll go with that, since it sounds right. Like last year, we didn't place. And like last year, we didn't do too badly either, but we definitely could have placed...

Woke up at like 5-ish and got ready. I'm FINALLY cutting down my makeup-applying time. It only takes me like 5-10 minutes now. After four years. That's sort of sad, but hey, I don't have practice every day for that like some people... xD So I actually finished about ten minutes before Ross came and picked me up, so that was nice. We had a weird conversation about lots of weird stuff on the way there. And on the way back, but whatever. I miss our carpool convos...

The actual competition went pretty well in general - we definitely had some blips that we shouldn't have had, but overall, it was pretty good. They actually announced auxiliary captains in the beginning this time around - it was sort of weird... We scored in the mid-70s, and were one point away from placing 3rd in our division. At least I didn't drop, or else I'd be blaming myself for that point loss, even if it's probably closer to two drops to bring the score down a point (unless it's a super bad drop that wasn't recovered well). I didn't do the flip at the end though; my thumb got caught in the strap. I REALLY need to practice that more...

Not going to lie either, this comp seemed sort of surreal. There were quite a few times where I completely took in the moment, like, "I'm really doing this." There was one four-count phrase where I was pretty much going off of muscle memory (which isn't exactly good, but...). It's been a while since I've had that feeling - I used to get it all the time during field, because of the environment and the length of the show, but it's been pretty less frequent during parade.

Chris came and visited! He totally got there too late to watch us perform though. Lame. =P It's okay, we talked for a bit and he met Ross - I miss the Go5 like crazy... We are totally getting together during winter break.

Went home, took a shower, ate food. I was planning on doing homework but I sort of fell asleep instead... Same thing happened to Ross apparently. Fun. xD

So symphonic and wind placed 3rd and 1st for the concert competition, but MB/CG didn't get anything at all... =[ We had the highest marching score for our division though! Guard, as I said, was one point away from third, and percussion was 0.2 points away from placing (which is sort of depressing for them)...

To be honest, guard completely has the potential to do super well, it's just the practice etiquette and overall attitude. Band's apparently having the same problem. People just put too much stuff above band or guard, and it's ridiculous. Even with the guard, which normally has perfect attendence at all practices and sectionals, there's just a focus problem. I admit, I talk a lot too, but I know when I need to crack down and work. It's not just an extracurricular - it's a passion and a discipline. It's not some activity where you can be content with where you are at the current point - no team should be like that. I've never kidded myself that I had a perfect show. I've had anything from super crappy to great shows, but never a perfect show. There's always something that can be done better, and I don't think people realize that. Just because you didn't drop doesn't mean you had a perfect show. Just because your work looked like everyone else's doesn't mean you had a perfect show. You need to PERFORM. You need to OWN the work and make it yours, and even then, you probably won't have a perfect show. I don't know if my expectations are higher because of how I was first taught by Kelly and Jhay, but I don't think my expectations are ridiculous in any way. We just need to work harder. We're doing well, but I know we can do better - I'd really like to break 80 my last season, just once...

Four more weeks and two more competitions. Work it.

Psych Can Be So Easily Related to Everything...

I always have an opportunity to bring up econ in that class. And marching band/guard. It's pretty fun. Poor Courtney has to endure all of my not-so-witty comments throughout class. xD

I got to teach psych today (sort of), and I did it with math (and felt like a supreme nerd). But the class said it helped when Mrs. Fitch asked, so I felt sort of accomplished. It was pretty fun actually. Ross went up to teach them with his method too, but his example of spanking was ridiculous because he was talking about mice... It was sort of like, oh dear...

*****

The guard sectional was pretty fun. I'm slightly more confident about being able to do the ending, although I totally hit the side of my head catching the toss one time - it's still a little tender but pretty much good. I should be okay. I got this! And I get to see Chris and Brandon tomorrow, so all the more reason to not drop...

We learned some of the homecoming dance too. It's pretty simple but looks cool. The band's going to have fun doing it... xD I hope it looks as awesome as Thriller did last year! =]

Ross gave me a ride back home today, and we had one of our characteristically weird conversations that probably makes us seem crazy to bystanders, but whatever. Anyways, he dropped me off right as my mom opened the garage - I thought she was going out, but apparently she didn't know I had a sectional and thought I got kidnapped or something. I thought she knew since I told her at the same time I told her about the robotics meeting yesterday, which she knew I had... In any case, she was freaked out. Fun times.

DONE!

With more than one thing! xD

Finally finished with all of my testing. Technically I was done back in June, but my parents wanted another humanity, and I was like, eh fine. Then I realized that I had like no humanities I could take because...
1) Like hell I'm retaking French, I'd get a 200 or something
2) I don't know any other languages besides Chinese which isn't worth it to take since it'll have virtually no weight because I AM Chinese
3) I suck at history, so I probably would do worse if I retook USH (and I wouldn't bother with World), plus it's a decent score
So... Lit it was. Which is ironic because SAT IIs are supposed to be in subjects you like, and lit is pretty much SAT CR on steroids. And I suck at CR. But it's chill, because I got a 770, which is nice (especially since lit has the lowest average - it's the only subject test in the 500s). Though compared to my math/bio/chem scores, now all of my schools will probably be like, "Oh hey, she's good at math and science and... oh..." Eh, whatever. xD

We're done with our t-shirt cannon! Well, the physical building part, we just need the programming to hook it up. I feel proud because I helped attach the motor, and came up with the idea that we used to mount the cannon to the base/robot. And it looks hella sick too, which is a plus. I also got to use the bandsaw and drill press. =] I'm new and like the only girl there, so it makes me proud that I can contribute something.



Also finished sending my ACT scores to all my colleges. That was like over a hundred dollars gone in like 5 minutes. Just wow. (I sent my SAT scores to my EAs too, but as I haven't finished it for all my colleges, so it's not officially on this list. xP)

I wish I could say I finished my Caltech app, but sadly, I'm still working on my essays... Ah well. I got a decent amount of stuff done today, so I'm happy.

Well, Damn

Got my rifle work changed with Mindy/Ellen, which really wouldn't be a big deal, except the new work is pretty fast and I suck at it... But apparently Elaine says Laura and I execute it better. Laura definitely does, because she's a boss, but me, not so much... I'm so annoyed at myself because I'm always like half a count late and half the time I catch super awkwardly... -sighs- Guess I'll just have to work on it a ton before Saturday...

I have a TON of bruises and cuts from guard, it's insane. My left knee is almost entirely bruised from having to kneel at the beginning of the show. xD I also got a tiny cut on my thumb from my rifle today, which didn't hurt all too much, but it was deep and bled quite a bit. =[

Other news - SAT scores out at 2am. Nervous, but not overly so, since this score really isn't necessary for me... Although if I don't do well, it'll be a question of whether I care enough to take it again... I'm also super tired right now, so I might just get someone to call me at 2, wake up and check the scores, then go comatose again. Hm.

Number One Done!

I was a bit too busy yesterday to post this, plus I wasn't feeling too well after it happened, but I sent in my first college application yesterday! MIT will be reading my awesomely weird short answers soon! xD

*****

In terms of news for today, I completely fell down the stairs today. I'm not even sure what happened really, because I was walking... I guess I stepped too close to the edge on a step, and since I was wearing socks, just slipped. Anyways, I slid down six steps, then failed and hit my back on the last stair. My spine still hurts...

Speaking of which, I'd ridiculously sore everywhere. My spine from the stair incident, everything else probably from guard. My right shoulder's been hurting like hell, my left thumb seems really screwed up, and I have random aches in my legs and sides. Bleurgh

I'm craving lots of food we don't have too... -sniffles-

I'm going to go watch some Heartstrings to make myself feel better (close to finishing!) and then sleep. =]

Del Oro TOB

1st place Division 2A Band (5th overall)
5th place overall Auxiliary

Comp itself went well - my show had a few blips and a drop (-sniffle-) but otherwise, it was good. The drop was ridiculous though, it wasn't really even my fault... -sighs-

Drumline performed first this time - I thought they did pretty well, but apparently they thought it could have been better. I guess it always works that way, that the people involved are harsher on themselves.
It was really scary beforehand though, because we had a pretty bad injury. All of the drumline members with bells were holding them up because they're super heavy, and Stephany accidentally let go of hers, and it completely ripped her fingernail off. It was super scary and I felt so sorry for her... She's a trooper though. =]

It was super hot outside. SUPER hot. We had our warm-up, and then set for competition - rifles are kneeling in the beginning. So when I got up from the starting position, I got super light-headed and dizzy, but it was like, "Oh it'll go away." Then I tossed, and like a split second after the rifle left my hands, my vision went pitch black. So there I am, having tossed my rifle, not being able to see, so I probably looked ridiculous trying to catch it. I sort of stuck my hands out and prayed the rifle would hit them. Which it did, but I wasn't able to catch it... =[ Then I felt REALLY screwed because I couldn't see where it was to pick it up, but it turned out okay because my vision came back.
It was super scary though, because I was thinking about what would have happened had I fainted or not gotten my vision back. If I fainted, I would seriously just be lying in the middle of the road for the guard and band to trip over, because no one would stop the show - I'm assuming Mr. J or Elaine or someone would go drag me out. If I just didn't get my vision back, it's almost scarier because no one would know anything was wrong for a while, and I wouldn't be able to take myself out of the show because I can't see where I'm going...

I got a chicken teriyaki bowl for lunch, which was actually really yummy, and a cherry/watermelon shaved ice. Yum.

I also did awards for the first time ever, and it was super fun but also super hot. My feet were burning so much I could barely feel them, and they STILL tingle. I feel sorry for Abbie (and the band) since they were in their big, heavy, stuffy uniforms. Guard had it slightly easier. Speaking of which, I have a very distinct uniform tan - it's super attractive. =P

We had some drama on the way back from the comp though - apparently some band members were saying how guard doesn't work hard enough and how we "finally" placed. They even made Aileen cry. I was pretty pissed, and tried to keep my temper, so I just said how we practice a lot more than the band given our practices are longer and we've been having weekly sectionals since the school year started. But it was just annoying - I don't criticize the band because I don't know what it's like to be in it, so don't criticize us when you have no idea about what guard is like. Whatever, most of the band acknowledges that each section is hard in it's own way.

In any case, Foothill next week! =]

Take Me Away

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Take me someplace where the lights shine brighter at night.

*****

Sometimes I'm really just sick of myself. All those years of having people look up to me for my "intellectual prowess" seem to have gotten to me. I don't know what the hell I'm doing or why the hell I'm doing it. Maybe it's just punishment for thinking I don't have to work as hard at something. Maybe it's a lesson.

I don't know. I feel helpless. Isn't senior year supposed to be relaxing? How come I feel like crying from disappointment and frustration half the time now?

You've Fallen For Me ~ Jung Yong Hwa

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I love his voice, it's amazing. =]

Blah Calculus

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I am so amazingly screwed for the test tomorrow, I just want to cry. I never thought I've be having problems with my math grade...

Confessions

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Even with all of my accomplishments and knowing that others looks up to me, sometimes I still feel completely useless and like a failure.

One reason I like helping others is because it makes me feel needed and appreciated.

Nothing ever seems to be enough. There are too many expectations to fulfill with too many opportunities to fulfill them, and it's just a fact of life that I can't take all of them.

It annoys me to no end when others don't try as hard as they should. If you're going to do something, at least try to do it well. It especially annoys me when the person not trying hard enough is me.

It makes me sincerely happy to just see you every day.

I haven't touched my piano seriously in over a month. I feel like a chunk of my soul is missing, but at the same time, I feel like it's unimportant compared to college apps and everything else going on. And that makes me feel horrible too.

I hate planning to do something and just getting distracted or falling into a little "I just want to sit here and sulk for a bit" lapse.

Despite my seeming ridiculously hyper and happy all the time, sometimes I could really use a hug.

My greatest comfort in life right now is colorguard. I never realized just how much I love it, but I almost want practices every day. No matter how tired I am after practice, or how frustrated, it's just one of those great joys that nothing else can replace.

Screwedness --> Seeking Solace

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My crappy calc grade, shitload of homework I'm putting off until the weekend (which is also a comp weekend), and screwedness for college apps (mainly supplements and especially those for EA) lead to me being sad and very, very worried for my future. I mean, I know I'll get into a decent college, just because I'm not TOO crappy of an essay writer and my numbers are, if I do say so myself, pretty good, but I just want to achieve more.

"Reach for the moon; even if you fall, you'll land among the stars." I've heard that, and while I get the meaning, I'm the type of person who, if I'm reaching for the moon, won't be content with landing among the stars. I'll be disappointed in myself; I was trying to get to the moon. I want to reach that damn moon. Although the saying doesn't even make sense really, because most of the stars are further away than is the moon...

Basically, I'll accept Berkeley and such, but there's always that knowledge that everyone, including myself, expects more of me. It's not so much that they'll be disappointed, although that hurts as well, because I've learned to not live for others. It's that I'll be disappointed.

Anyways, I got completely off-topic. Basically, me feeling sort of like a failure and just being very nervous, but being too tired to and not wanting to do any more work (I'm so so so very tired lately), leads to me watching Heartstrings. Jung Yong Hwa ♥

Raining Heartstrings

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The post title sounds a lot better than what I have to say. xD Basically, I spent 3-4 hours in the rain running and spinning, and I really need to watch Heartstrings.

The band got to leave at like 5:45. =[ It makes me sad, because there we are, running in the rain and spinning in the rain and generally being more in the rain than them, and they get to leave an hour and 15 minutes before we do... -sniffles- Ah well, whatever.

Heartstrings is a kdrama with Jung Yong Hwa and Park Shin Hye (Shinwoo and Minam). I REALLY need to watch it, if only because I'm obsessed with Yong Hwa and spent a good while of my life wishing there was a drama with him as the male lead. Now there is! xD But aghhh I have college apps and lots of homework... =[

*****

Dusky slept on my lap a lot yesterday because it was raining outside. xD He only ever comes in for food or to avoid the rain. Ah well. He's such a cutie-pie.

Clarie did something weird to her pinkie - like the bone got pushed up inside her finger... She needs to get a mini surgery tomorrow and get pins put inside it. -cringes- And she probably can't do guard for the rest of the season either...

We have new guard jackets - I'm only getting mine embroidered with my name though. Weird as that sounds, and as much as I wish I could be uniform with the rest of the guard, it's ridiculously expensive and I already have a guard jacket, so it's sort of pointless for me to get another even if they are nicer. Plus it's my senior year so I don't really want a jacket that I won't wear in the future (since no one really wears high school apparel to college). So I'm just going to get a plain jacket with my name. Well, Clarie's paying for most of it as an advance Christmas/birthday present. xD

College... -sighs-

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I feel so amazingly screwed for college applications... I have so many damn supplements to write... I'm tempted to just not apply to as many schools because of the supplements. I still need 3 more essays and a TON of short answers for my early action schools... -sniffles-

Jhay Had Way Too Much Fun With This

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Nevertheless, I love it. He wrote in a pseudo-ending for our show, since we won't have time to finish it before Cupertino. It's pretty awesome, sort of cute, and really quirky, so hopefully it'll leave a good impression on the judges. =]

On the other hand, band left more than an hour before we did! D=

*****

I love Ross and Simion. Mutual love-hate right there. Maybe more hate than love from their end. xD Ross fails at getting me to let go of his backpack, and I completely didn't steal Simion's sandwich today. They're just really fun to talk to, and they can somehow handle all of my weirdness, which is pretty awesome. Although I say it's unfair when they gang up on me...

Ah life. How I love you at times. Even if I DO have a shitload of stuff to do that I haven't yet done... I feel so screwed for college...

Meanwhile, I'm listening to the River Flows in You - Wedding Dress mix on repeat. I really love that - it sucks that there's no sheet music...

1000 Digital Posts

I'd like to dedicate this post to all of my friends. They put up with my crazy randomness and while rather mean at times, are always there for me when it really matters.

I love you guys!

*****

Shout-outs to the besties =]

Clarie: We've only known each other for what, two years? Funny, cuz we're twins. It seems like forever though... I love our random inconsistent spirit days and how we always argue with each other without actually arguing. Colorguard's so much more fun with you in it! We've both seen each other at our worst and obviously at our best too. Are we doing another anti-homecoming this year? I love our awkward ways of paying each other back - "I'll just buy you something at the next comp" - and being completely mean to each other sometimes. I know I can always count on you if I need anyone to talk to. Now that you can drive, we should totally go out more! I'm off to college soon, but I'll be back for your graduation!

Courtney: I bet you regret ever talking to me in 7th grade, huh? =P These past few years have been absolutely amazing (I finally hear you talk on a daily basis)! xD Aha, just kidding. But yeah, I'm so glad I met you! I know our conversations are more me talking and you sitting there wishing I weren't talking, but feel free to tell me to shut up if need be. Despite your little antics of saying how you hate that you see me every day (first AND last thing of your day!), I know I can always count on you when I just feel like ranting, and you'll always bring me back down to earth and temper some of my craziness. Despite your self-depreciation and pessimism, I want you to know that I think you're absolutely awesome - you'll definitely go far in life. Of course, can't ever forget that you're also an insane pen-spinner! (I can still only do the thumbaround thing...)

Robyn: Ah, my fellow immature kindergartner. I'm so lucky we had Foss together freshman year, or we probably wouldn't have become as close of friends as we are. I love how you're every bit as crazy, random, and hyper as I am (possibly more so), and how we can totally go crazy. It's sort of amusing how Courtney hangs out with us so much, no? I also love how you're shorter than me (I'm totally going to get hit for that). You're super chill and always willing to help, and I have to say that you'd be the absolute best partner-in-crime ever! (Although we'd be so loud, clumsy, and ridiculously stupid that we'd perpetrate the worst crimes... xD)

Lisa: Trash can buddies! You're completely awesome to hang out with, even if that means that our little math sessions are utter failures and just turn into random everything-but-math sessions. I know you worry and stress a ton, and girl, I just have to say, there's no reason you need to. You're every bit as smart as you think I am, even though you believe otherwise. You'll go far in life, and you can look back and laugh at how worried you were about the future in high school. You do have a bit too much drama at times though, but it seems like you've found your prince now though, huh? -winkwinknudgenudge- We better stay in touch in the future, and we can chill and be awk together in college! =]

Ross: Oh Ross. What should I even say? Hm... Despite your apparent enjoyment of my pain, you're pretty chill. I know you probably wouldn't do it if you weren't comfortable around me in any case. Our conversations when we first started carpooling? I swear you barely talked and I felt like a weirdo (not that I'm not one). I super miss our carpool rides and having random conversations about random things on the way to/from school though. You're super sweet and an absolute gentleman (I can totally understand why my parents like you so much). You can be pretty awkward at times, although that's just hilarious. I still think you'd be an absolute boss at interpretive dance... All of these super random memories from random times... I'm really going to miss you when we head off to college, so we better stay in touch! (Not that you can really prevent it, because "I know where you live!")

Brandon: Wow. Nine years of friendship. Pretty beast right there. xD We've been through a lot together - I skipped a grade, you quit Chinese school, then we didn't see each other at all for like two years during middle school. It's pretty awesome that we were able to talk so easily after so long - I can't say that would have worked for everyone. You're super chill and easy to talk to, and I love hanging out with you even if you do make a few too many jokes about my height. I was taller than you in elementary school! For a while... We need to hang out more after I'm through with college apps and all this crap! Nine years of friendship, and way more to come! =]

*****

Vaishu, Bhumika, Hsiang, Simion, Eric, Tommy, Peter, Tony, Kim, Davy, and everyone else that I know and love - you guys are all super awesome! We better hang out more before we (or I at least, psh juniors) head off to college!

As for the double Ellens, David, Melanie, Jung, and all of you other college peeps, you need to come back and visit me! =D

*****

To the Go5, thanks for making my time at COSMOS all that more enjoyable. Shiori and ToTo, I haven't been able to keep in contact with either of you that much, except for the pokes. xD Go online more! As for Brandon, oh, those random as hell conversations at 1am... Chris, you don't know what you're missing out on!

Are we still on for that winter trip to Tahoe/LA? =D

River Flows + Wedding Dress

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This is absolutely amazing - I'm going to learn to play it someday when I have an extra few hours on my hands. Second semester senior year? xD Totally deserving of my 999th post.

Tonight

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Guard completely rocked that halftime, at least from what I saw. I also got shoved in with a double on flag (which I have never legitimately tossed until now) since Brianna and Christina were having troubles with their pass. In any case, my toss went well, and the show, from what I could see, was pretty awesome indeed.

I love football games, just because I get to talk to people. And eat nachos (they're good!). Be awesome with the guard and hang with band members. Ross is mean though. =[

Time to go eat some food, watch some TV, relax, and sleep in prep for the SAT II Lit tomorrow. Yay. xD



Personal critiques for the future -
1) Totally started late. Caught up pretty well though...
2) Awkward walk into the circle and stumble after the double, but that was most likely because it was new...
3) Gotta learn that dance a bit better. Semi-late on the kicks.
4) Picked up the flag the wrong way after the dance. =[

If Teachers Had Twitters...

*Idea from Courtney*

If I could, I'd fire everyone from the White House and bring in the economists.

This sheep tried to climb over a 8-foot tall fence today. Sheep are bloody STUPID!

I burnt my popcorn in the microwave today... Again... =[

I was looking over the problems I assigned my students today, and some of them are so elegant!

I learn something new every day - it's AMAZING! People don't get married and don't have kids to research all of this stuff...

I thought I was teaching freshmen, but it seems some of them never graduated from kindergarten...

My kids just had to name the dog "Roxxie"...

My wife is teaching Bungalows on Banana Boulevard right now! Just kidding...

My students get to learn about "King Phillip Coming Over For Great Sex" today!

There was a fire drill today. It was completely pointless, so I just taught through it.