Is That... It?

What the hell am I supposed to do if someone just decides to walk out of my life? Run after them? Just let them go? I never thought I'd ever actually have to choose, and with someone who meant so much to me too. How come I didn't see this coming? What the hell happened? I always thought I'd be one to run after them, and try to get them to stay, but I guess I'm just too much of a coward. Can I really do nothing more than just watch her walk out the door? And it's so hard to imagine never seeing her again. Sure, I can tell myself I'm respecting her decision; after all, it couldn't have been easy for her to make it, right? But maybe I can't go after her because, just maybe, it's my own fault. Maybe I did something to push her away. Maybe I just didn't try hard enough. For what? I don't even know. But maybe it's the knowledge that it's because of me that's keeping me from trying to get her to stay. After all, how valid is, "It's not you, it's me"? In the end, it's always the other person. So who am I to believe that I'm in the right, that it really isn't me, it's her? Who am I to believe that I have the right to run after her? What the hell am I even supposed to say? Bye? Like that would even come close to showing her what she meant to me. So I guess I'll just sit here silently and watch her leave.

And maybe these tears staining my cheeks will be the only reminder of what once was. I'll miss you.