Depersonalization

She knows it's her
The memories are all there
The facts
The date, the place, her birthday
Everything she knows.
But it feels wrong
It feels like... not her
But it is.
So she tells herself all the facts
She likes stars
She like tea on a cold day
Inside with a blanket and book
She like people and smiles
She likes the sound of rain on a window pane
The smell of brewed coffee
Though she doesn't drink it
She likes long drives with no aim
And long conversations with no end
She loves God
But this feeling of not being comes with a lack of emotion
And all these things she knows she likes
She can't feel.
But when she finally comes back into one
She wishes that were true.
Because all the pain and all the hurt
Flood in and close like a vice on her chest
And she continues with a smile.