Imposter Syndrome

I think this is arguably the longest I've ever gone without posting on this blog... What can I say, it's been a crazy semester/past few months. I suppose I should go with a quick recap.

First semester... Hm. Lots of stress over graduate and fellowship applications (but more so waiting for decisions), graduate courses, relationships, faith, friends, **thesis**... It's definitely been a rollercoaster, but a fun one in retrospect I suppose. PEF/Manna retreat was absolutely amazing, as was my trip to Boston following it. Both left me a little bruised and battered physically (that's what happens when I try to play sports), and the first a little banged up emotionally. It was great bonding with friends new and old though, and it was a much needed break from Princeton. Thesis is stressing me out still, especially since my project still doesn't work, I don't have full characterizations of any of my molecules, and I haven't started writing yet... Woops. God is good though.

And praise to Him, I've heard back (positively) from most all of my graduate programs now!

[y] California Institute of Technology
[y] Harvard University
[y] Massachusetts Institute of Technology
[y] The Scripps Research Institute
[] Stanford University
[y] University of California Berkeley
[y] University of California Irvine

Still yet to hear back from fellowships, but the grad programs are the important part. It's almost hard to find motivation now that I know I'm "safe" but I'm also terrified by how much I don't know, and how much I don't even know I should know. I can't help but think what if I should up for a visit weekend or for the fall and everyone realizes I'm not anything like what they expected? Guess there's my motivation to keep working hard and learning more so I can be a bit more prepared...

Through all of this, I'm so thankful for Mike. He's been such a blessing and so patient and understanding through all of my stress and mood swings. First semester was made just a little (or quite a lot) better by his being there.

It's going to be a good last semester. Crazy to think I'll be leaving this place in less than half a year...