Secrets

I was hoping I'd be able to get through more than I did. And I suppose I still can, but on the other hand I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I just wanted you to know more about me than most people did, and I still do, but it just... I don't know anymore. I shouldn't have told you that one yesterday. I didn't think it through, and it was a poor choice. It doesn't make it any less true, but it wasn't a truth meant to be said. I'm sorry.

Maybe nothing was really wrong, just not everything was right. I told a friend that a few weeks ago. So why is it that I can't fully believe it myself? I feel like I do - I'll feel perfectly fine, and then this pain will just hit. It passes though. But it worries me. Why is it that I can't take my own words? I think it's just that I have trouble believing that nothing was wrong, and that I'm the problem. Because really, in all honesty, I really do believe I am. There's that saying that everything happens for a reason because it's either a blessing or a lesson. What if that same rule applies to people, and I'm the latter?

I don't know. I'll be okay. Eventually. I always am.