I knew Colorguard wouldn't be easy-peasy and all, but I never expected it to be as hard as it is for me... I really come home and practice like crazy until I can't see outside anymore, but you can't even tell... I really wish my efforts would pay off sometime... I spent all of last season being the worst spinner there, the worst tosser, the worst marcher, the worst, worst, worst. I don't want to just survive at band camp, I want to do it and be good at it. Agh... And I'm pretty sure the work is going to be harder this year too, given that the music is faster and everything... Which is amazingly scary for me, because I barely scraped through last year... I only had one show in the entire season that I didn't make a mistake in... And I guess I'm now officially become a sophomore, so Kelly and the others aren't going to be easy on me... They're always easier on the freshman/newbies, you can tell. But considering I'm a sophomore and still just as good (maybe even worse) than the newbies, I'M DEAD.
But there's a reason to go through this hell... After competition, guard parties, and when the coaches smile at you if you've done something well... *sighs* I guess I'll just have to toughen up.
*****
As for school... I hope it's not THAT much harder than freshman year... Sure, so everyone thinks I'm like, pro at academics or something, but in reality? Even while I don't exactly study my butt off or anything, I'm just as worried about my grades as anyone else. Like, I don't study because I know the material, but I don't walk into a test saying, "Psh, whatever, I'll get an A anyways." I walk in thinking, "Okay, I know I won't fail miserably, but I don't know the grade I'll get. What if there's some trick questions? Or material that I DON'T remember? What am I going to do then?" So I really hope I can get through this year as well as I did last year (not likely, given my APs and Honors...), and I'm really worried for next year...
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