Maegan's Birthday!

Rollercoaster

I swear, every day here is one. You have your awesome moments with friends. Love you lectures and precepts, then you realize you have absolutely no idea how to do your homework, then you figure it out and are happy, then you realize midterms are in two weeks and you're absolutely screwed. Just wow. My emotions are getting a workout.

Studying

This is a problem. I've never had to really crank down and study before without knowing exactly what it was that I didn't get. Orgo's just one big mess. I can do the psets fine enough, but I feel like I only get bits and portions of material, so I have no idea what I don't understand and what I do. Reading the textbooks doesn't help much either. Our first exam is in two weeks. I have no idea what the shit I'm doing.

Waiting

I did so much stuff in high school that I feel like I'm not involved in anything now... I mean, I have CSA, PUCS, and TASA, but those are like, societies and not clubs/teams. I'm sort of waiting for everything to fall into place. Maybe I'm meant to do something and that's why I didn't get into the groups I wanted so badly to join. Maybe. 

 But meanwhile, my friends are amazing. They really help me forget all about my disappointment, and it's absolutely great.

I miss California.

Rejected

"Sometimes, the happiest people are the people who are hurting the most."

I've heard it all the time, but I never thought about it. But in light of all of the things that have happened today, I really don't know. It was just so easy...

I can't help but feel that I really don't belong here, where I struggle academically and can't even do the things I love outside of classes. It was just so hard to find out I didn't make the team. I said I'd cry if I didn't, and I was only half-joking, but I really couldn't have anticipated the shock and complete despair that washed over me when I found out. It's wonderful here, but I can't help but wish I were a little bit better so that I could at least do the things I want to...

I almost wish I were back in high school, when I could still pretend that I was doing something and going somewhere with my life...

Sometimes I really wonder whether I should be here...

Edit - And just as often, I find myself in situations that affirm my belief that I don't. Didn't make the Mock Trial team, and I would be lying if I said it's okay. It would be an understatement to say that I'm sad. And now I really don't know what I'm doing outside of classes, since most clubs require auditions and most audition periods are over. I really don't belong here.

Chilling with the Zees

Late nights watching Braveheart, snacking on animal crackers/Cheerios/graham crackers. Running! Horses! This man! FREEDOM! #socialcontract

Best zee group ever.

Tryouts! Tryouts! Tryouts!

Had my Mock Trial audition today. It was pretty chill, and I think I did alright, but I kept getting cut off... My cross was complete crap because I got nothing out of the witness - I was expecting to get at least 3 minutes... Ah well. That's what I get for trying out for both attorney and witness... 

Went to Triple 8 auditions today. COMPLETELY made a fool out of myself. The songs they chose were SO fast and they went through choreo pretty quickly too... In any case, it was fun. I doubt I'll make it, but I'm not a dancer anyways, haha. Danced hip-hop to B2ST!


I'm tempted to try out for like every group on campus... Conversely pretty much every group at Princeton requires an audition. Only the best of the best, of course. This is how we roll.

Fall Lawnparties 2012!

Organic chemistry is going to kill me...

Tiger Pride

I'm super loving it here... My heart is about to burst from the love I feel for Princeton right now. Everyone's just so nice and helpful, and this place is so beautiful that even getting lost feels like a journey.

Signing up for classes tomorrow - they start on Thursday! I still can't even believe I'm actually here, so it's going to be a shock when I have to wake up at 7 for that first orgo lecture...

Really anticipating the activities fair on Friday... Mock Trial, Triple 8/BAC, TASA, Quipfire... There's so much I want to do, but definitely not enough time to do it. I'm going to end up the same way I was in high school - signing up for way too much stuff. Except, unlike in high school, I probably won't be able to juggle 10 clubs. Or get officer positions in 7 of them. Haha.

I placed out of the language requirement with Chinese! The interview was surprisingly short. They told us to prepare for a 20 minute section, but mine was pretty much 5 minutes... And most of it was me talking about my cat... xD

Princeton is amazing.