The Times When Summer = Relaxing Are Over

...Until next year at least. Let's see... Summer schedule...

~ DVC online classes (Criminal Evidence, Introduction to Business, maybe Business Statistics)
~ summer homework (APES, AP Lit, AP Econ)
~ COSMOS
~ college app crap (maybe)

Hm. Doesn't sound like much but I'm already drowning and I'm only dealing with Criminal Evidence and Intro to Business right now... I'm semi-hoping I can't add into Business Statistics. xD But seriously! So many quizzes and discussion questions! x.x

COSMOS will be fun but I won't have as much leisure time or freedom as at home, and depending on how rigorous it is, completing summer homework and online coursework on time will be a pain... Ah well.

Junior hell extends beyond the school year. =P

As A Source of Light-Hearted Entertainment

If that's what you find this blog, you might want to stop visiting for a few days. Or maybe a week. I don't think this is blowing over anytime soon. I just know not that of you read this, or else I wouldn't be posting about all this crap at all. Hsiang, joking or not, when you said that there must be something wrong after hearing me say I went to bed early, you're right. But going to bed early doesn't mean I won't spend the next few hours in bed crying.

Sorry guys. If you're looking for somewhere to spend a few minutes just browsing or whatnot, this isn't the place to do it. Not right now, at least.

Would You Rather...

Know that he doesn't like anyone, yourself included, or know that he does and have to face the possibility that it's not you?

221/365 (Being Annoying)

I guess it's an acquired trait... Sometimes I wonder how the hell people deal with me... And sometimes people don't. I think I'll avoid talking to certain people for a while, just to spare them the need to. Because no one should be a burden, or even just feel like one, right?

I tried to find out if you considered me annoying. He told me you did, and it's not like I try, and it's not like I want to. But in my quest to figure out if you did, you said, "How about if i say you're being annoying right now?" I think I'll take that as a yes. And it's a good thing you don't read my blog, or else I'd feel horrible posting this (actually, I wouldn't be posting it...), but that hurt more than if you would have just said yes.

Of Course It's This

No matter what my mom says about her being fine if I can't get into Harvard/Yale/Stanford and the like, I feel like her almost crying today when she found out my chances of getting in one of the schools are super slim say more than anything she actually said.

Sometimes I wish my parents didn't care that much. People are always like, well at least they have expectations, etc, but to be completely honest, those expectations aren't a help at all. I get my grades for me. Not for them. I try to do well in everything I take on for me. Not for them. It's nice knowing they care, but if they didn't, at least I wouldn't have to face their disappointment in addition to mine in the event that I fail.

Oh Erica, what have you done? What the hell are you doing?

Yay for Summer...

Sometimes I really can't help but think about how horrible a person I am. At least during summer I don't have to hide it for 7 hours Monday through Friday... And at least during summer I can not talk to people and they won't freak out.

Have you ever felt so lonely that you listened to a recording of silence for about half an hour just to feel like someone was on the other end of the phone?

Any seed of guilt sprouts a tree of regret.

Foss and Sloan ♥

.

They're two of the best teachers that I've ever had. They've both brought so much character and passion for their subject into their classes. I pretty much remember all of my teachers, but I'll also remember their classes - that shows that they really put some effort in there. The fact that I remember a lot really just proves how much they loved their respective subjects.

I got them both presents and wrote them both page-long letters, but it doesn't seem adequate enough for how awesome they made my freshman year. A little naive freshman getting two classes taught by two of the best teachers in this school. Sure, I hated the work and how their tests and project due dates always coincided, but I loved the classes. It sounds stupid, but looking back on it, it seems magical.

Mr. Sloan was always one to talk about Mrs. Foss, and whenever we brought it up in her class, she always just sort of chuckled and brushed it off. It's hard to imagine them as a couple, but I'm sure their seemingly clashing personalities intermingle in entertaining ways.

I'll be sad when I come back to visit Cal and they aren't here...

Read about them in The Contra Costa Times!
"And the rest was history. And English." Best Sloan quote ever!

*****

On an semi off-note, I wonder if they have a couple name, and what that would be. Like Brangelina and the like? I feel like Robarb would be funny (like rhubarb?). Or Robara sounds cool too. Barbert just sounds ridiculous.

221/365 (Unhappy Nights)

Yesterday was a different one in a way... I'm not counting on it repeating though, unless something weird happens.

But basically, every time I have a bad night, I feel like I should be extra happy the day after. There's probably some skewed up reason for that, like I need to make up for feeling sad about some crap or the other, but I don't know it. All I know is that I'm usually a lot more cheerful than normal the day after I do something like cry myself to sleep. It's sort of unconscious now. Although I was pretty content yesterday night after a while, so maybe it's carry-over effects from that? I don't even know. Oh well.

Why is it that most of my really nice dreams are about the same thing now? Waking up sucks. At least it's nice while it lasts...

220/365 (Heart-Shaped Paper Clips!)

These brightened up my day. I haven't been having a very good one though... There's always a problem when I wake up more than once during the night... -sighs-

219/365 (Blogs Will Be the End of Us)

We document so much of our lives on here! At least, I do. xP Facebook is worse in the sense that it's updated a lot more, but blogs are what have the actual interesting things that you'd want to remember.

And semi-off topic, I love it when people post stuff they wrote online in an attempt to sound smart and/or garner praise. Posting stuff you wrote is fine (I like keeping some stuff on here since I'll prob lose my hard copy), but asking for compliments is just funny, especially when one asks if "this makes us look so smart" yet their paper has at least 5 grammatical errors that can be found on the first skim-reading.

I got my yearbook signed today by people. =P Clarie has it right now; she's totally going to write a page. I actually have quite a bit of space in it, although I still need to get signatures from all of the seniors who will be off on their wonderful college journey next year. =]

Food Babies!

I totally stocked up WAY too much on food when we went to Costco... And we've gone like 2-3 times in the past week. I feel spoiled. xD

~ strawberries, blueberries, blackberries
~ watermelon
~ blueberry muffins
~ trail mix
~ wild Alaskan salmon
~ BACON!!!
~ fruit popsicles
~ Odwalla Mango Tango
~ berry sundae/churro/smoothie

There's probably more I'm forgetting too. Anyways, my house now has LOTS of yummy food. Just need to buy some chips and I'm completely set. =D