Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Being Hit with Tears


I've honestly been crying so much lately, both good and bad. From stress, from fear, from anger, from sadness. From joy and being overwhelmed with beauty. From being happy about how wonderful life is and how good God is to me. I can't be this unstable. This unpredictable. I can't let my emotions control me.

I really don't get it and I hate myself for being so emotionally unstable. I hate myself for hurting the people around me with my erratic behavior. But at the same time, it's so amazingly hard to stop. It's almost like suppressing am unconscious reaction. Like keeping your hand on a hot stove, where doing so hurts, but if you jerk away, you end up slapping people you care about.

I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what to do. And I know I need to look to God, and I want His help, I want His strength, but I just have so little faith sometimes...

God, please help me.

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