Perspective

I woke up today and just felt supremely crappy. I couldn't even describe how crappy I felt. I woke up around 6:30 and just laid in bed and cried for a bit until 7:05... I leave for school at 7:05. Life just seemed so pointless, then taking the lit test didn't help my spirits any. I thought of all the times I screwed up supremely and how I can't even accept myself for who I am sometimes. I say I don't care what other people think, and for the most part, that's true, but I still want to be someone who people like to be around - how could I do that if I couldn't even stand to be around myself? I was sort of tired of pretending to be happy; I do a pretty good job a lot of the time. Whenever I seem sad, it'd never the worst - I'm usually the happiest when I'm the saddest, if that makes any sense. I'm the little bubbly girl who people freak out about if they see sad, so I don't want to put them through that. So I bottle it until I'm alone - I cry myself to sleep and punch walls. But every time I feel just like life isn't worth living, I see my friends and realize why I go through this. I remember all those times when I thought about suicide and remember why I didn't actually try it. I know my friends love me, and I love them too. I could call them at 3am if I needed and they would be there for me. Sometimes it just takes some perspective. Despite all the teasing and however many times I tell them that they're mean, I really couldn't live without them. When I say I'm a people person, I mean it. Without the people I have in my life, I wouldn't be here.

Sometimes all you have to remember is that it's not yet the end. We'll always go through rough patches, but that's what our friends are there for; we'll struggle and strive through it all. Take a day to yourself and do your favorite things - avoid work like the plague. No matter how bleak life may seem, there are those people who love you unconditionally. If you ever need to talk, they're there. All you have to remember is that there's another day... Stay positive. =]