Afraid to Love? (Or Like. Whatever)

So anyways, tons of people are matching up lately, and its ADORABLE! But then I got around to thinking about exactly why I haven't really been into being in a relationship myself. Don't get me wrong, being single's pretty damn awesome, but I just feel as if there's something bugging me about dating, I guess? I'm not really sure. I'm probably just overthinking it. (Oh and for those of you who might know, it's got nothing to do with that thing in middle school. That was lame, and totally shouldn't even count. Actually, I don't think I'm even going to count it. -shrugs-)

But then I guess it's probably because of all these dramas I watch and, indirectly, my sister's exes, which (most) all seem amazing. I just feel like maybe I'm waiting around for a guy who'll never come? Like, I really, sincerely doubt there's a drama guy in this world. But then I swear I've met a few... Ah well. I don't know, this is confusing.
I feel like maybe I need to see how sweet and caring a guy is before I'd consider going out with him though... Like, I'm just such a mushy romantic that if a guy has no tact or whatever, I'd probably be really really disappointed, even if I did like him...

Then there's that whole insecurity thing too. Mine, I mean. (Surprised? Every girl's insecure, trust me. At some level. xD Maybe deep deep DEEP down inside.) Like, I'm generally perfectly fine with who I am, and I figure my friends are too (I hope?). But I've been told by people I know and love that I'm not good enough, and that's what kills me. If I don't know you and you insult me, screw you b*tch, who cares? But if you're someone I trust and count on, and you tell me something like that... It really hurts, you know? And sometimes, if I don't do well at something or am just down that day, just sometimes I start to believe you. And it doesn't help much that it usually rears its ugly head every time I'm disappointed in myself. This kind of stuff can really scar a person. You've got to realize that. Maybe I just won't be good enough for someone. They've only known me from a distance, who's to say they actually know anything about me?
And that's one of the main reasons that I probably won't ever go out someone I barely know. I won't do that to get to know them. It's not so much for my benefit (although it is too; I just feel weird if I was to be dating someone I rarely see before) as it is for theirs, to sort of see that I might not be the person they think I am.

But yeah... I don't know.
Well, in the end, it'd not like I can choose who to like. So, I guess I'll just wait and see...