#labfails

Apparently when I'm sick and not focusing, trying to take NMR samples means putting multiple samples in the same NMR tube. Woops.

All I've ever wanted is to know more.

Is this a difference of time or of interest? Of personality?

And I really do miss you, but...

In a way it's liberating

But at the same time, I've never hated my emotions more.

I wonder...

Maybe I was too hasty,
Maybe I was scared
Because you knew me better than
Anyone else, and better than
I thought you did.
And I really do just need time
To work on myself
But I miss you being here.

More than I should.

Sometimes I just want someone to see the happy me, and say, "It's okay to be sad."

Group projects don't end after school. Show grace when needed, and forgive more than you want.

It's on days like today that I think, maybe I can do this after all.

Patience

I've found recently that I have very little patience for people who ask questions when the answer is easily findable on your own.

What do I do about that?

My body is at work, my mind is on vacation, and my heart is off in the mountains by a cliffside.

There's such a heaviness in my heart that I can't explain...

A Sprinkle of Sadness

Because pure joy doesn't come from worldly accolades, or from having friends, or from pieces of paper attesting to your worth. 

I wonder how other people see me sometimes. Sometimes it helps to realize how much I've been given, and how little I deserve. At the same time, I sometimes wish things were different.

And I often wonder how many times it took passing you before we met.

Half-Coherent Thoughts

I remember when you left I cried at the airport, in the terminal, on my own plane ride home. I thought about you every other second of the day and made notes of what I would tell you that night. I spent days waiting for your response sometimes.

I don't cry over "see you later"s anymore. I don't spend my waking moments thinking about someone else's life. But I still wait, and wonder, and hope.