And I often wonder how many times it took passing you before we met.

Half-Coherent Thoughts

I remember when you left I cried at the airport, in the terminal, on my own plane ride home. I thought about you every other second of the day and made notes of what I would tell you that night. I spent days waiting for your response sometimes.

I don't cry over "see you later"s anymore. I don't spend my waking moments thinking about someone else's life. But I still wait, and wonder, and hope.

Someone please tell me how I got myself here.

Edit: Someone please tell me why God brought me here.

The Things That Break You

What is it about a storm that fells trees but only sways the grass? Maybe it says something about human nature that we look up to the oaks as a measure of wisdom and strength. 

I always thought that if you let it, the world would break you.

Don't mistake care for love, or the idea for the person.

At what point did you realize you had gone too far to turn back?

Steps

The spaces in a 
Brick-laid path; ripped out, not art
But pain and longing.

I had expected something different. You're stronger than I could ever be.

Pyrite

And as the light filters through pine needles and time,
Glimmering, precious as ocean treasures
Picked up in love,
I feel a heartstring pull
As if a strum, a wandering note
Plucked from the space inside my ribcage
But maybe it was just the idea we'd loved.
The liquid gold of a new horizon,
The crispness of a new life,
But only those.
Not the slicing of shattered glass
In a picture frame thrown in rage,
Of holes cut into walls
By rigid fists,
Of bruises and brokenness.
And maybe it wasn't the life we loved,
But the idea of it.

And years from now,
Will you see me when you look back?

We all live with broken hearts.

Sometimes you can think more clearly after, and that gives you the courage in the next hard time.

My heart hurts and I remember why.

Casualties

You know, I always wondered what the chances were of a rusty nail or screw sticking straight up waiting for you to step on it.

Well, it's not zero, let me tell you that.

I am not obligated to be, nor will I be guilted for not being, your friend.

Lessons Learned

When I was five,
I’d learned right and wrong
I saw myself through the eyes of others
On the brink of discovery,
Imagination, aspiration, achievement.
When I was thirteen,
I’d seen how the rich treated the poor
I knew what happened
When you took people for granted.
When I was eighteen,
I’d been murdered three times:
Once by a harsh look,
Once by a harsh word,
And once by someone who couldn’t have cared less.
Now that I’m twenty-two,
Sometimes I wonder,
What happened at twenty-one?
I learned forgiveness in the hardest of times,
The importance of friendship
To care less and to care more
See the beauty amidst ugliness
Hope for the best
Keep life in mind
Don’t let the world bring you down
And maybe some of the lessons I learned in the past
Were foreshadowings of bigger things to come.