One and Done!

Week one (not including orientation) is finished! I've become familiar enough not to be hopelessly lost in the halls, gotten my sailing license, decorated my room (at least partially), had my first couple of classes and recitations, and made some pretty amazing friends! (Also called recitation precept but that's besides the point.)

Excited for all of the learning (and teaching!) yet to be done!

I think we're too much alike, you and me.

I have an addictive and fickle personality.

Every few days I just stay up for hours and when the weight in my heart becomes too much, I pour it out to the universe.

Security

People say they hate uncertainty. I guess I like the possibilities.

***

Sometimes I think about how my funeral would evolve over the years. Who would come? Who wouldn't? Of the people I knew but fell out of touch with, of the people I just met?

More than the last time, or fewer?

And what does that mean?

I always have to keep myself from being too greedy. In the end, it only hurts myself.

New Chapter, New (Old?) Hairstyle!

Dragons

I didn't grow up with fairytales,
Perhaps for the better
Because we're not
Princesses or princes
But somewhere
In between
Helpless and courageous
And we may not be royalty
Or have happily-ever-afters
And maybe our dragons
Never really die
Maybe
We lose sometimes and
Trundle away, broken and beaten
Maybe
We celebrate victory
To be brought low again later
Maybe
Our dragon brings some friends
But maybe
Our shining armor is
Our friendship
A phone call
A hug
Our humanity
A small reminder that
The princess wept alone
And the prince fought alone
But
We
Are
Not

If I were ever to do something absolutely crazy, I would do it for you.

When others anticipate that little green dot, I look at the numbers slowly grow, reminding me of just how far apart we are.

Number 618

And in the
Swirling stardust of infinite universes
There must be one in which
You didn't have to fight to live with yourself
Choices were made differently
The boy gets the girl
And I don't have to say no

Went for my quadrennial photoshoot today - pictures to come!

Things are a little broken...

...but what's broken can be fixed... right?

Reflections

Maybe I miss you all more than I should. I probably shouldn't be doubting myself as much as I am, but I have to admit that I'm scared. I'm scared, and it was comfortable, and right now, I'm craving comfort. But what was it that I said before, that I wrote? Be comfortable being uncomfortable, because how are you supposed to grow otherwise?

Sometimes I wonder if seeing myself through someone else would be better. I see all of these wonderful people around me, and can't help but feel like an impostor. But when did we reach the point at which self-worth was measured by any extrinsic factor, by friends, by likes, by the length of a resume? A perfect profile picture or an Instagram-worthy apartment? But when did I, personally, reach the point at which my self-worth could be measured by the length of a spatula?

I'm not ready to be an adult.

Doctors and DOTS are basically telling me I should have gone to medical school.