Frozen

Our fountain has frozen. It's so cold that moving, spurting water has frozen. I punched through the ice in the pool and it was at least an inch and a half thick.

So yeah, it's cold. I don't remember feeling cold when I had three layers on last year, but I guess it was a semi-mild winter last year too. In any case, sweater, coat, mittens, scarf, hat. Winter is coming (or, you know, it's already here).

Piece By Piece

The more I look at this super tentatively planned schedule for my remaining time here at Princeton, the more certain I am that I can do this. I'll undoubtedly feel differently once I'm in the class (physics is honestly *killing* me right now, and I have biochem and linear tests coming up that I'm super worried for), but I can do this. I'll have space for more electives too, even with the random classes I'm already planning on taking.

Typical me though, worrying about stuff for next year while not being prepared for the stuff next week. And honestly, all of this could change so much - just two weeks ago, I was set on getting a finance certificate. Wherever God takes me. Piece by piece, and peace by peace. =]

Who am I in a crisis?

Do I focus on what others did wrong, or do I think about what I could have done to make it right? Do I think about the consequences for me, or for others who are affected?

Who I am in a crisis is who I really am, no mask or painted details. So who will it be?

Figuring Out My Life

I've actually decided to PDF econ. Bit of a bummer, since I didn't want to use a PDF so soon again, but judging from my midterm grade and how rough the homework is going, and how crappy the final is supposedly going to be... Probably a good idea in order to keep myself sane and not hate econ completely. Plus, looking at future courses, it looks to be more investment banking oriented as opposed to business-oriented, which was why I would have gotten the certificate in the first place.

Going to check out COS and GHP certificates - definitely want a COS one, and the GHP one looks pretty relevant and also interesting (and more akin to what I would have wanted from the finance cert, except less math-y).

A big thank you to God for bringing me through this rough past week. Now just to *pass* econ and bring all of my other grades up (especially physics).

And I definitely can't forget this...

MAEGAN IS HERE!!!

Got woken up at 8am by her haha. It was definitely the best surprise of the year and made my whole week so much better. And she brought cookies! I've missed her so freaking much. Super happy right now. =]

A rough, bumpy, broken road.

I am loved.

Regardless of what I can do, and what I can't. Regardless of any right or wrong decisions I might make. Regardless of how worthless, stupid, and hopeless I feel. Regardless of whether I feel loved, I am.

And at the end of the day, that's what I'll try to remember.

I am having a perfectly bad day.

Cornell!

It's been lots of fun chilling here with Matt, Faith, and their family. It's super pretty - I wish I had more time to spend... So much open space and grass and nature haha. I personally still like Princeton more (Cornell is *huge*) but it's pretty wonderful here.

I can't believe fall break is pretty much over... So much I wanted to do that didn't get done. And so much I should have done that ended the same way. Woops. But I guess this always happens...

In any case, time for some pictures!

Half Relaxing, Half Frantic

Break has been nice, but also insanely busy at the same time.

Been relaxing a lot (read: sleeping a lot), but also trying to do work and sort of failing (and subsequently freaking out about work). Went up to NYC and saw Chris, visited the Intrepid museum, had some yummy ramen. Went pumpkin picking today too! Hoping to get a bit more done before the start of school, but with going up to Cornell, we'll see how that works out.

Excited to see Faith and Ellen and Natasha though. =] Eh, we'll see what happens these next few days. Meanwhile, have a few pictures!

How Wonderful Are You

Thank you God, for holding me through this week and showering me with Your love. For being so patient when I was frustrated and angry, and for loving me when I felt worthless. Thank You for the beautiful autumn leaves and the crisp air, for woven sweaters and cookies and hot tea, for the stars in the night sky and late mornings spent curled up cozy in my bed.

Thank You for giving me this life God, for all of the amazing people I have met, and for all the beautiful things in the world.

People love me. Isn't that crazy?

I can't math, I can't physics. I definitely can't econ. Judging from my chem grades, I can't chem either. What am I doing here?

Completely drained. Two more to go.