Late Nights and Tea

I spend most of my nights now downstairs, playing random card games on the internet with random people, crime TV playing in the background, cuddled up with a fuzzy blanket and a hot cup of green tea. I stay here from a little before midnight to 3am. There's something calming about utter anonymity on the web, with a list of moderated phrases you can use, like "Good job" and "Thanks partner." Something comforting about hot tea, no matter the weather. Even the screams and blood on the screen in front of me are soothing in a way.

Everything's familiar. It's the house I've lived in for the past 12 years. It's pretty much all I remember, except a walk-in closet where I lived in Richmond. I've watched movies on this TV for the last 7 years. I've sat in this couch for the last five.

It keeps me calm. It keeps me sane. It keeps me from thinking about real life and everything that seems so overwhelming but shouldn't be. It keep me from thinking about everything I'll have to worry about in college, about leaving my friends, about stress and pressure and expectations. It keeps me from thinking about and missing you.

I Wish...

I wish I knew you better. Over ten years together and I feel like I don't know enough about you. Respect for what you want to do in life - I never realized you were going through so much. I'll be here if you ever need help or just want to talk. I want to help you to your dream. I want to help you prove yourself. But I don't want to lose you. Please be safe, you get hurt so much already...

Comfortable

Am I comfortable in my skin? I'd say I'm getting there. I'm fine seeing someone I barely know (ie. my sister's college friend) in athletic shorts, a big T-shirt, and glasses. My hair all messed up, my eyes still peeling at the corners from that stupid makeup, shoving food in my mouth like no other and yelling answers to Jeopardy.

But I'd be lying if I said I don't prefer to wear contacts. If I don't want to look like those stereotypical New Yorkers, effortlessly chic and confident. If I don't try on jeans that are slightly too small and wish I could actually fit in them without those awkward bulges at the hips. But with all these flaws, I don't think I'll ever be the one constantly in high heels and makeup. Am I comfortable in my skin? I suppose, but instead of being comfortable, I want to be happy. All the time.

Bettering Myself

College is a new chapter right? I'm not going to become a new me, but like every chapter in a book, I'm going to bring something new to the table. Something better, something that draws people in. I'm going to wrap up loose ends and create the best story I can. I will be graceful under pressure, handle everything I can and then some. I'm going to break down walls and build bridges. If you'd be so good enough to join me for the ride, to read this story, then I'll try my best not to disappoint. I'll trust you with my secrets and hope you'll keep them for me. From now on, I hope you won't see that girl in high school you thought was perfect. You'll see the real me, very much flawed, and love me for that. And as I write my new story, I hope you'll stay with me. This will be an autobiography open to edits. With your help, I'll make myself a better person.

With Band Camp Comes the Burn

The sunburn that is. Yours truly apparently sucks at putting on sunscreen, because yours truly is left frantically applying aloe vera in a (probably fruitless) attempt to keep her shoulders from peeling. Aloe vera is amazing btw.

I got to feel super special today. Kyle gave me his iPad so I could look at the director's view of the drill! Super awesome. =] "You don't even go here!" seemed to be a pretty popular line today too... After I was singled out for doing the 27 Points of Space exercise well, after marching, after Kyle told us we had to run two laps... Ah well. Must enjoy band camp while I can.

Will probably stay mostly in the shade tomorrow though... My shoulders hurt.

They're Here! (The Pictures That Is)

Band Camp!

It feels so weird knowing that I can really leave whenever I want and not suffer any consequences. xD Twenty guardies this year - pretty good, considering the band is tiny...

My legs hurt. Kyle and his exercises... I got to be a really bad example of our warmups! =P I also sat out of some across the floors, then Jhay showed up and yelled "Cheater!" at me...

Can't wait until they start learning drill, aha. It's going to be so much fun watching them!

Getting Ready for the Outdoors!

Bought my hiking boots today! Needed kid's boots because my feet were too small, aha. Still have a little bit of shopping to do, but I'm pretty much done! Super excited for OA!

"The Last Supper"

According to Mr. J at least. Went to Round Table with Ross, Peter, Toria, Tommy, Sam, Giulio, and Brian to gorge on pizza and play Publish or Perish. It was pretty awesome getting everyone together again. =]

Went to Tommy's house afterward and continued the card games with some Mafia and Hearts. And then some more PP.

I'm going to miss these gatherings so much...

Free Ice Cream + Waving at BART Cameras

Went to SF with Courtney, Robyn, and Bhumika today! It was pretty awesome, though we pretty much just walked around and ate food the whole time...

Browsed some street vendors - those caricature/sketch artists are insanely talented - and walked along the pier for a bit. Ate at this nice cafe place, where I totally didn't finish my lunch. I have a small stomach, what can I say.

Visited a candy store (Robyn's favorite place) and walked around a bit more.

Back to Ghirardelli Square and ordered some ice cream cones! The place was insanely busy, so we were just waiting at the counter watching the servers making orders. So one guy made a sundae thing, called a name, and this dad and son went up to get it. Then they were like, "Oh, we have one more," so the server made another sundae, but they meant they have another item, not the same thing. So he's standing there looking sort of sheepish, and I'm just watching the whole thing because I found it rather amusing. Then the guy looks around, looks at me, and mouths, "Hey, you want this?" So yep, free ice cream!

Oh this random guy also passed us on our way in to Marshall's, and was like, "Hey girls, how are you?" It was the most random thing ever.

The BART back was super crowded (rush hour), so that was fun. Then the crowd cleared out, and we were just standing around talking (still no seats), and randomly Bhumika was like, "Hey are those cameras?" and points at this camera at the top of the train. Robyn and I look at it at the same time, and both start waving. It was pretty amusing.

All in all, a pretty fun day.

MY Great Eight

Whereas Phelps does the Olympics, I do AP testing.

AP English Literature and Composition - 5
AP English Language and Composition - 5
AP Calculus BC - 5
AP Environmental Science - 5
AP Psychology - 5
AP US Government and Politics - 5
AP Microeconomics - 5
AP Macroeconomics - 5

Eight 5s! Insane, right? I couldn't believe it...

Back in America!

And cold weather! It was about 61 degrees when we landed, so I'd say like 20-30 degrees cooler than Taiwan? =P Anyways, this summer has been super fun; lots of traveling and shopping and sight-seeing. Still have one month! Spending it with all of my friends before I head off to college. =]

Tang Hu Lu! (The Tomato Ones Are Delish)

Professional Pictures!

Took a photoshoot today akin to the one I did in seventh grade. =P Four outfits this time. A lot less makeup and more natural hair too, so that was nice. I have still come to the conclusion that I never want to get into the habit of wearing makeup though... In any case, I won't have the pictures until August 15th, but I think a few of them turned out really well. =]