I am completely done dealing with other people’s inability to be honest with themselves and communicate clearly

Life is tiring and beautiful

I had a moment last week when I realized I truly felt happy. No caveats, no anxiety, no worries bringing me down. Just actual, pure joy, untainted. And it was so humbling to think that it had been so long since I had felt that at peace.

I spent so long thinking about who I was, who I wanted to be, that I forgot how to actually be who I am. There are so many things I want to do, so many ways I want to grow, and somehow in the past few years it all slipped by me. I hadn't realized I was going through the motions of life and forgetting to live.

So let this be my promise to God and to myself: I'll live the way I was intended for, in worship, in love, and in joy. I'm sure I'll have moments of failure and of fear, but I'll strive to be myself, and to grow into myself, and to stop letting myself and others hold me back.

I'm going to love more deeply, feel more authentically, reconnect with hobbies and people I loved, experience new things, cry loudly, embrace the world.

Life is tiring, but life is beautiful. Thanks be to God

And on some days, I remember I'm loved

And what a beautiful thing it is, to be a beloved child of God

To be able to see the beauty in the everyday

The sun shining on the what used to feel like a cold world

To see the winks and hear the whispers

And remember that you're here

You're home

You are

And that's enough

I’m starting to think the best thing you could have done for me was leaving

It’s been a painful journey, but I’m determined to come out stronger, and I’ve experienced happiness I had forgotten was possible